Love marriage or arranged marriage? Which one is better? What do you think? There are some real hot controversies that exists over decades on this. Some feel love marriages are more exciting than be with an unknown person throughout the life while some go for arranged marriages. Though young generations are more inclined towards marrying the one whom they love, here are certain facts and twists about love marriage and arranged marriage you must know in order to lead a happy married life.!
Freedom of choosing life partner
In love marriages, it is often easy for the girl or the boy to choose their life partners based on their will. Security sustains after marriage since the girl knows her in-laws well and the place she will be staying in. While in the case of arranged marriages, freedom of choosing your life partners is an absolute NO. Parents decide everything, if not staying with the unknown person! You hardly have a say!
Good understanding exists between the couple in case of love marriages since they know each other’s likes and dislikes, emotions, feelings etc. They can cope up with each other much easily, understand each other’s desires and react accordingly. However, in the case of arranged marriages, compatibility is a major issue!
In love marriages, the girl or the boy have a comfort zone towards each other. They can express themselves easily. No one has to think how the other one will react.! In the case of arranged marriages, this is just the opposite. Unless that trust develops, no one can be secured with each other.
Though love marriages are exciting and thrilling, there is a chance that neither the girl’s family nor the boy’s will support the marriage. This happens because the parents, look into different aspects of marriage. A girl’s parent might feel that the boy is not ideal for their daughter based on education, family background etc. Same goes with the boy’s parents while choosing bride for their only son. While, in cases of arranged marriages, you get the approval of everyone. You are the most fortunate ones since the marriage happens with the concern of the parents from both sides.
Early breakup and divorce
Most often love marriages happen on whimsical decisions and quick action taken by the boy or the girl. Both of them do not think of pros and cons of choosing a partner all by themselves and rush into marriage. It could be a wrong decision for the two! Besides, in love marriage, the girl and the boy spend lots of time dating each other prior to marriage. This results in boredom when they actually get married! They already know everything about each other, so what’s the point in starting off all over again? Well here lies a twist in arranged marriages! The couple is absolutely new to each other and the enthusiasm to start as fresh is there.
Love in Arranged Marriages
Here where the problem comes! Love is something that is required in order to stay together. How long can someone compromise? Well, there exists two sides of a coin. In the case of arranged marriages too, love can happen. The couple while starting to stay together develop might develop some feelings towards each other that grows up to be love. However, in most of the cases, arranged marriages are only a compromise! Couples lack trust and commitment, resulting in the lack of love and respect towards each other. On the other hand, love marriages are all for love itself, so both the bride and the groom stays happy.
Research says that age differences affect the sustainability of marriage to a large extent. When there is a huge gap in the age of the boy and the girl in the case of arranged marriages mostly, there is a better understanding between them. This happens because the girl develops a kind of respect for her husband. On the other hand if the girl and the boy is of the same age or there is hardly a difference of their age, in love marriages, the couple treats each other casually thus lacking the mental support and patience in a marital life.
Parent involvement creates problems
Usually in an arranged marriage, parents get unwantedly involved, since the marriage happens with everyone’s discretion. This tends to raise problems between the couple with third party intervention that results in bitter feelings turning a trifle problem worse, which is not the case with love marriages!
Financial burden for the girl’s family is huge
In arranged marriages, the financial burden borne by the girl’s family is huge. Starting from selecting a groom to the end of the marriage proceedings along with the rituals, it costs much in the case of a daughter’s marriage. This includes the dowry that has to be given to the groom’s family, failing which might result in problems. We have earlier come across situations where the bride has been burnt alive after her family failed to fulfil the demands of her in-laws! This problem hardly exists in love marriages since it is the decision of the couple themselves and the question of dowry does not come.
So, what do you think? Which one is better? Love marriage or arranged marriage?
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