Have you heard of GitHub? For those who haven’t, Wikipedia says, it is a web-based Git repository hosting service. It is an interface where you can access and control software projects. In simple words, you can store your projects online and access/share them from wherever you want.

Narkoz (on GitHub) aka Nihad Abbasov shared some amazing software scripts that he came across while going through an ex-co-worker’s files. One of his co-workers (name not known) had build some crazy codes for everything that took him more than 90 seconds. The guy was that lazy! But Genius too!

When the guy left for another company, Nihad was looking through his work and found software scripts with messed up names. When he looked carefully, he understood that his pal had programmed all sorts of stuff like coffee, boss, client and even his love life! And there you thought that romance couldn’t be programmed! Check out his top scripts.

Smack My B***h.

For example, if his account is still logged in the company’s system after 9pm, a program sends an automated text late at work” to his wife and that too with an excuse. The script was named as Smack My B***h.


The next script was Hangover! For obvious reasons, this code sends an automated email “not feeling well/gonna work from home” etc. with an excuse. The guy even had a array of strings for excuses too.

Kumar A**hole

Oh wait! There’s more. Another script named Kumar A**hole scanned his inbox for emails from a client Kumar and looked for keywords like ‘trouble’, ‘help’, ‘problem’ etc. On finding so, it would connect with Kumar’s server and move it back to the latest backup. It would then send Kumar an email “no worries mate, be careful next time”. What do you have to say to that? Isn’t he a pro at dealing clients?

F****** coffee!

The last one is my favourite. It’s sheer genius. Remember, when you have to get up everytime and wait to fetch coffee. Isn’t it irritating? The guy was irritated too but unlike you, he found a coding solution to it. He hacked into the office’s coffee machine (yes, it was hackable) and scripted it such that it would start brewing a mid-sized half-caffeine latte and then wait for exactly 24 seconds to pour it into the cup. Why 24 seconds? It’s because it took exactly 24 seconds for our dude to walk from his desk to the coffee machine. He named the script F****** coffee!


You might find this hilarious but don’t you agree it takes talent to combat daily-life boredom with such swag? The guy used his programming knowledge to overcome all those stupid troubles in life. Balancing coffee, clients, love and life like a pro!

Hang on, we have a link to Narkoz’s Git scripts here. Share this story with your programmer buddies. You might find some amazing life hacks too!