Gen Y: ultramodern, progressive, and what not! We have labelled ourselves as hip and happening, yet a large number of our population can’t choose their careers, let alone their life partners.
Forget about admitting to homosexuality, even heterosexuals aren’t free to choose the people they want to marry and spend the rest of their lives with.
So if you are also fed up with exhibiting your talents of cooking and selling yourself by flashing your yearly income, then this is for you. Go and get rid of arranged marriage!
Introduce your Invisible Friend
Introduce them to your invisible friend who is sitting right next to them. Tell them that you people have been ‘friends’ since childhood and you would wanna bring him/her along with you after marriage.
The Dead Spouse
Drop hints of you being married before and that your parents are hiding it because your ex-spouses are all dead. And yes, don’t forget to flash that creepy pee-in-the-pants smile!
A Simple NO
You can always simply say ‘no’ to him/her but do so with elan. Walk in the room, look at them and exclaim, ‘seriously!’ or ‘what-were-you-thinking’?!
Set your Demands
Demand for jewellery, cars, and other expenses. Tell them that you wanna fulfil all your expensive dreams and wishes that you couldn’t do in your own house.
Do the Kangana in a Towel
Oh, we can always go the Kangana way. The way she struts in front of her family in just a towel was simply awesome. If not a towel then a ‘barely-there’ dress. Remember Munnabhai meeting Chinki in the pub? The dress was pichu se akkha khulla!
For Guys, you can go for shorty shorts or better yet – Lungi utha ke disco dikhati!
The Homosexual Angle
It’s always a good idea to include your friend in mischief. Ask your best bud to come storming into your house screaming, “Ye shaadi nahi ho sakti!” Ask him/her to disclose your gay/lesbian love while indicating those secret vacations!
Bad Habits with a nasty twist
This one’s my favourite. Ask them if they’d wanna share a smoke. Pull out a packet of Gutka/Khaini from your bra/undergarment and ask ‘do you mind?’
Show off your skills
Arranged marriage meetings generally include putting yourself up for exhibition and showing off your talents. Do so! Like your horrible singing skills that could make the dead turn in their grave, or your juggling skills where you accidentally hit your future in-laws…
Zero Personal Hygiene
Beauty can be dangerous but we have got your back. Avoid bathing for a day or two before the meeting, sweat it out in the gym, don’t wash your hair, grow a really long beard and wear sleeveless with tufts of hair at your armpits. Don’t forget to PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!
Tell them that you don’t wanna have kids as there as so many orphans or that you are reproductively challenged.
Sex Life to the rescue
Talk about your sex life. Be very vivid and share details or even try and enact them. The more visual, the faster they are gonna run out.
In case the meeting is outside, lech at other people, pass vulgar comments and discuss the probability of threesomes. The weirder, the better!
Fart! Simply fart your ass off. Start practising now!
Now that i have given you enough ideas, use them all, go and live a happy life and stop worrying! Also don’t be selfish by keeping these to yourself. Share this post with other poor souls who are looking for some help!
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