People do stupid shit. Period. The trick is, to not do it in public, or at least when nobody’s looking. But with the coming of the internet, that’s been getting more and more impossible for us. Plagued by curiosity and the craving for knowledge, people have been getting more and more open on the internet and public forums, with their personal lives, stories, and queries!

funny sex queries

Which is all well and good, in itself. But you know when the problem starts? When you start weirding the crap out of people with your insane queries related to sex and your private time in your bedroom! We found a number of gems while scouring the internet, which will definitely make you wanna poke your eyes out with a shovel!

  1. Yeeesh! And you thought Cersei and Jaime Lannister were cringeworthy! Jesus Christ!

funny sex queries

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2. Yes absolutely! She can also try jumping on one leg 3 times, or use a vacuum cleaner hose down there on full.

funny sex queries

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3. Try it! I’ve been told, you feel a really nice, warm, tingling sensation down there that makes you scream with pleasure.

funny sex queries

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4. Of course not! I mean, where else does one pee?? Certified doctor speaking!

funny sex queries

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5. Smear some honey on it and sit on top of an anthill for a day and a half?

funny sex queries

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6. Why wait? Run to your garden, dig a hole and plant your penis in it, and wait for a few days! (Make sure you get someone to water it regularly)

funny sex queries

Source    funny sex queries
7. Oh no, of course not. Perfectly safe. And normal. You’d get to hear that wonderful “pop” sound every time you orgasm!

funny sex queries

Source   funny sex queries
8. Yes absolutely. They can also parkour, rock climb, fly and drive a Harley Davidson up it! Nothin’s gon’ stop im mofo!!

funny sex queries

Source   funny sex queries
9. As the commenter said, at this point, it’s just best to put a tortilla around it and serve it at a Mexican restaurant! Now that’s a recipe Gordon Ramsay would be proud of!

funny sex queries

Source   funny sex queries
10. I’m more curious and terrified about how exactly you plan on going about it!  People like you deserve to be tasered!

funny sex queries

Source   funny sex queries

Had your fill? If you’ve got the stomach for it, we’ll be back with more, soon as we recover from these!  funny sex queries

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Satyaki Sarkar
Asocial idealistic cynic with a not-so-mild case of OCD trying to convince myself I'm doing something useful with my life, by writing stuff. When I'm not working, I usually binge watch whatever series I'm currently hooked on, or read a book, with some rum for company.